We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
