you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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