Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
