The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
