so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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