hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize