marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
