real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
