I want to have your abortion
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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