I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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