I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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