I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
