i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
