if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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