I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
