Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
