My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
