I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
tell me about the fingering
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