when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize