Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize