Just cropdusted the office
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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