return my video game
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
