I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
