Dual....:-)
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
