Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
