Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize