xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
