ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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