I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
