Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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