I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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