NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
