Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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