You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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