i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
