is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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