yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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