How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
