You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
