You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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