Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
