I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
