I hate all girls vehemently.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
