I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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