It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
