Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This is not my ceiling
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
