hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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