Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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