You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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