on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
