hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Who died my cat blue again?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
