I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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