how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
