its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
