3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
