Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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