I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
