You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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