porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
