obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
