I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
