and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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