I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
