He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
where does the pee come out of this thing
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
