what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is this like a preordered booty call?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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