I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
