somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
