: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
worst night to have a conscience
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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