You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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