It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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