sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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