I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
