Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
