just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
