whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
